Henchmen Chronicles Volume 2

So what did we learn last week? That probably depends on who you ask. Because I learned nothing. I'm just giving away free ammo with some of these quotes. Have a lot to discuss here today so not going to linger on the 2-2 San Jose + Florida games much. The theme for this team, consistently, is this teams inconsistency. Spare me the "they're tired from the brutal schedule, the nhl hates us" bullshit. If this team is using the tired excuse (which they're not, you people are) then we are already fucked. That being said, how they come out vs Carolina tomorrow night will tell me everything I need to know about what this team is. I caught glimpses from what they are when they were dominating in Sunrise, but that all faded as they forgot how to hockey in Tampa. 

MOVING ON

Home games fucking suck. They really do. A few of use were airing our grievances this week privately and something that stuck out to me was everyone is tired of home games. The best part of them is pregaming and sneaking into suites with a dozen internet friends. They just don't feel like the same team at home as they do on the road. Since 2020, they're 70-65-22 at home. That's not including this season so far because its still early-ish. But that HAS to get better, it must. Its a non negotiable if this team wants to finally get over that hump into being a legitimate long term contender. The panthers home record the year they won the cup, 26-13-2. Vegas, 25-15-1. Avs, 32-5-4...you see where this is going right? Home field advantage essentially being a coin flip is not the way to go about business. 

Lets talk about Nico shall we. Zero goals in november. Its november 20th. Need I say more?

Now lets get to what this article/blog is really about: Thanksgiving.

Its my favorite holiday of the year, because its a pregame to the best time of the year if that makes sense. Football on all day, even if its just Cooper Rush vs Tommy Devito. Let the bourbon flow, sneak in a few glasses of Pinot Noir at dinner. And the food. Thats what we're diving into. The food. OHHHH the food. Lets start with what a few devils twitter famous love and hate at the dinner table. I'll save my opinions for the end. 

First victim: @GabeCTrevino

Our good friend Gabe says "cranberry sauce is cool, not a fan of yams". 

Next up: @JamesNicholsNHL

Must haves on James' plate: Ham because thanksgiving turkey is trash. Biscuits. Mashed taters. Green beans (not from the can because hes not a poor like the rest of you). His words, not mine.

Must not haves on James' plate: Turkey bc its already in the trash. Cranberry sauce. Corn.

Lastly my dear friend @AndrewTimoni

"Ohhh must haves for me are the ziti and meatballs and mashed potatoes. I couldn't care less about the turkey."

MY TURN

Let me just say this. If you dont like Turkey, thats fine. But youve never had a properly cooked turkey. THAT BEING SAID, if you need 24+ hours to make a piece of poultry edible, is it even worth it? No. But its tradition. So let me walk you through how to make a delicious turkey and my thanksgiving plate. It starts by spatchcocking the bird to even our the surface area which 1) cooks it quicker and 2) cooks it more evenly. Then an overnight dry brine of JUST coarse salt. I prefer kosher salt. Then comes the compound butter that you need to ever so gently distribute by separating the skin and meat. My butter usually is made up of Kerrygold unsalted butter, roasted garlic cloves, rosemary, thyme, sage, a touch of chipotle chili powder, and a sprinkle of cajun seasoning. I smoke my turkeys, so I put the bird in a pan over a wire rack and in the pan I put lemon, garlic heads, onion, celery, carrots, sliced apples, and a brown beer. Last year I did sam octoberbest. Youve heard of the term fall off the bone tender, right? Well how about legs fall off the bird, tender?

Yep. About 75% way thru smoking the turkey, the leg completely detached itself. It was far and away the best turkey I have ever had. If you dont have a smoker thats your own issue idk what to tell you.

Now that I have guided you on how to make an edible turkey, lets critique the plates of those who I mentioned earlier. 

Gabe, I got nothin brother. Based on what you gave me I have to assume you just scoop cranberry sauce out of a jar and thats all you eat. To each their own I guess. 

James, im fine with it. I personally dont like ham but the rest im good with. Come over for some turkey and hopefully I can change your mind. 

Andrew now, you get it. 

As much I love a traditional american spread for thanksgiving, its not what I grew up with. Pastas, veal spiedini, cutlets, bracciole, the list goes on. But NONE of that is at my thanksgiving anymore, except for like a baked ziti for the young ones. 

Thats this weeks blog. Not sure why youre still reading if you are honestly. However...writing is a new way to entertain my adhd I suppose.